For years, I lived in survival mode, navigating the demands of family, career, and societal expectations. As a Black woman, the world often glorifies our strength but rarely our softness. It took intentionality, self-awareness, and a shift in mindset to fully embrace the soft life I now lead as a kept wife. But let me tell you, it’s not just about luxury or being taken care of—it’s about living a life of balance, alignment, and purpose.
Redefining the Soft Life
The term “soft life” has been floating around social media, often depicted as lavish vacations, designer handbags, and endless spa days. While those things are beautiful, they only scratch the surface. For me, the soft life isn’t just about material comfort; it’s about emotional, mental, and spiritual ease.
Being a kept wife means that my husband ensures I am cared for, supported, and able to live a life of ease. But more importantly, I’ve learned to nurture myself—because true softness starts within. My days are filled with intentional practices that honor my femininity, prioritize my well-being, and allow me to live a life that feels good on every level.
What My Days Look Like
A typical day in my soft life begins with peace. I wake up in gratitude, my husband greeting me with love and appreciation. Morning rituals include a warm bath (which he often prepares for me), a nourishing breakfast, and time spent journaling or meditating. These practices set the tone for a day filled with alignment and joy.
As I go about my day, I focus on pursuits that bring me fulfillment. Whether I’m writing, coaching, or curating a community of women embracing their best selves, I pour my energy into what feels aligned with my purpose. And while my husband takes care of the big things—financial stability, household responsibilities, and planning for our future—I ensure I hold space for him to feel loved, valued, and supported.
Softness in Action: The Art of Receiving
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in this journey is the art of receiving. As women, especially Black women, we’re conditioned to give endlessly—to our families, careers, and communities—often at the expense of ourselves. Embracing the soft life required me to unlearn the belief that receiving makes me weak or selfish.
Being a kept wife means allowing myself to receive without guilt or shame. Whether it’s a bouquet of flowers, a planned date night, or simply time to rest, I’ve learned that receiving is an act of self-love. It strengthens my relationship, enhances my well-being, and sets an example for other women to know they, too, are worthy of care and softness.
Challenges of the Soft Life
It’s easy to romanticize the soft life, but let’s be real—this lifestyle requires intentionality. It’s not about being lazy or avoiding responsibility; it’s about creating boundaries, prioritizing peace, and letting go of what no longer serves you.
For me, stepping into this role also meant addressing societal judgment. Some people may see "kept wife" as a negative label, but I’ve redefined it on my terms. I am kept emotionally, spiritually, and physically by a partnership rooted in mutual respect and love. And the best part? I’m keeping myself, too.
How You Can Embrace Your Soft Life
Whether you’re single, married, or somewhere in between, the soft life is attainable for any woman ready to prioritize herself. Here’s how you can start:
1. Shift Your Mindset: Let go of survival mode and embrace the belief that ease and luxury—however you define it—are your birthright.
2. Create Rituals of Rest and Renewal: Prioritize rest as much as you prioritize productivity.
3. Master the Art of Receiving: Open yourself to love, support, and care without guilt or apology.
4. Build a Support System: Whether through your partner, friends, or community, surround yourself with people who uplift you and value your softness.
5. Invest in Your Feminine Energy: Explore activities that make you feel radiant and connected to your inner power—whether that’s through self-care, hobbies, or spiritual practices.
Conclusion: Softness is Power
Living a soft life as a kept wife isn’t about passivity or dependence; it’s about choosing a life of balance, alignment, and fulfillment. It’s about being intentional with your time, energy, and love—both for yourself and for those around you.
This lifestyle is my love letter to myself, my family, and the women who are redefining what it means to live abundantly. I invite you to explore your version of the soft life and discover just how powerful living with ease and intention can truly be.
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