Altar Behavior 101: Dating Etiquette for the Grown & Gorgeous!

Listen, ladies (and lurking gents), it’s time we have a real talk about dating etiquette. Because some of y’all are out here treating dates like free therapy sessions, job interviews, or worse—free meals. And the streets? Oh, they’re talking!

So let’s get into it—the do’s and don’ts of dating that’ll keep you classy, keep your standards high, and most importantly, keep you from looking like a hot mess express.

1. If You Ain’t Interested, Stop Acting Like You’re Hungry

Let’s just start here, because some of y’all are violating. If you know good and well you don’t like this man, why are you ordering the filet mignon, lobster mac, and the craft cocktail that costs more than his car insurance? If you wouldn’t split a combo meal with him on a Tuesday, don’t let him fund your Wagyu dreams on a Saturday.

🛑 DO: Order what you normally would. Be respectful of his wallet. If you want luxury dining, go with a man who enjoys the finer things. But don’t fake interest just to eat well—it’s giving scammer.

🚨 DON’T: Brag about finessing men for meals online. That’s why y’all got dudes out here in group chats comparing receipts. It’s embarrassing!

2. Leave the Trauma Dumping at Home

Yes, sis, we’ve all been through some things. But let this not be the first-date convo:

• "So my ex cheated on me with my cousin…"

• "My baby daddy’s still mad I put him on child support."

• "My last situationship lasted eight years but I’m finally ready to start dating for real!"

Ma’am. Stand up! A date is not a licensed therapy session. If he didn’t go to school for it and he’s not getting paid by the hour, please don’t drop your entire Unsung episode on this man before the appetizers arrive.

🛑 DO: Keep the convo light, fun, and engaging. Talk about your interests, travel, hobbies—let him feel like he’s on a date, not on an episode of True Life: I Have Bad Taste in Men.

🚨 DON’T: Trauma dump. Period.

3. Stop Looking at Your Phone Like It’s Gonna Pay Your Bills

If you put more energy into scrolling Instagram than looking at the human being across from you, you should’ve just stayed home. And ladies, if you’re the type to “accidentally” open a Cash App request mid-date, I need you to go sit in the corner and think about your decisions.

🛑 DO: Be present. Make eye contact. Actually listen to what he’s saying. (You can post your cute little “soft life” date night Boomerang later.)

🚨 DON’T: Text your homegirls mid-date asking if he’s cute or if you should fake an emergency. (The Uber screenshot is already in the group chat, huh?)

4. Men, the Bill Debate is Not Your Battle to Fight

Fellas, I’ma keep it real with you—if you ask a woman out, you should be prepared to pay. We are NOT doing “Wanna split?” in 2025. If you’re watching the check like it’s a season finale cliffhanger, just stay home and DoorDash something within your budget.

🛑 DO: Pay the bill like a gentleman if you initiated the date. If she insists on going half (not just fake reaching for the wallet), let her.

🚨 DON’T: Hit us with the “My card declined, can you cover it?” trick. That’s the quickest way to get mysteriously blocked.

5. Keep Your Hands to Yourself, Weirdo

Just because a date went well does not mean you’re entitled to anything extra. No, you cannot “come up for a drink.” No, you cannot “walk her to the door” like this is Boyz n the Hood. And no, you definitely cannot lean in for a kiss when she’s giving you that side hug and “take care” energy.

🛑 DO: Respect boundaries. Read the vibe. If she’s feeling you, she’ll let you know.

🚨 DON’T: Act like you own somebody just because you bought dinner. This isn’t a layaway plan.

Final Thoughts: Keep it Cute or Stay Home!

At the end of the day, dating is supposed to be enjoyable, not a high-stakes battle of wits, cash, and desperation. If you want to be treated like a high-value woman, move accordingly. If you want to attract a high-quality partner, be one.

And if all else fails, just remember: Don’t be weird, don’t be rude, and don’t order the tomahawk steak if you only want to text “I had a great time” and never see him again.

Y’all stay safe out here. And behave yourselves.

Xoxo,

Angila